Au Revoir Benin!

 On Friday we took a day trip to Ouidah.  Ouidah is a not-so-well-known port in Benin that accounts for the theft of millions of West Africans from the continent during the four centuries of the mid-Atlantic slave trade.  It is also a cultural center for vodun, the traditional religion often called voodoo in the US and Caribbean.  Contrary to popular belief, vodun is a deep, rich system of beliefs that is grounded in anything but the witchcraft tales white folx made up about it in order to convert people to Christianity and shun those who refused.

We started off the day at the Python Temple, one of many temples dedicated to many of the sacred symbols in vodun.  Pythons are particularly revered.  There is a whole temple dedicated to them, but you will see python imagery nearly anywhere that there is vodun representation.  Our guide told us about the different buildings within the temple and their purposes within the religion.  We were given the opportunity to hold a python as well as to enter a temple and say a prayer to them.  

Some might say Amare wasn't as brave....he's probably just much smarter!

After the Python Temple we went to the Sacred Forest, that houses many statues of different gods in vodun.  

If you couldn't guess, this god is who you go to with fertility issues.

This monument marks the place where the tree standing behind it fell and then miraculously righted itself the following day.

This is an active vodun temple, so you can only enter it if you've been initiated into the culture.  If you notice the serpent statue to the left in the infinite circle, that's a common symbol of vodun culture.

It is believed that King Kpasse received a sign that he was going to die.  In vodun culture, it is considered a bad omen for your enemy to see your dead body.  It is a signal to them that you are no longer leading your people and therefore your kingdom is vulnerable to attack.  So the king took to the sacred forest and while bathing went underground and sprouted into a large tree.  The tree is still in the forest and believers come to bath on its roots, say prayers and provide offerings for ongoing protection from the king.  

Before leaving the forest our guide offered us a moment to do a silent meditation and feel the vibrations of the forest for ourselves.  In the midst of total chaos traveling with two small children, it afforded me a deep moment to myself.

After we left the forest, we stopped at several additional places in Ouidah including the home of the DeSouza family, the most notable slave trading family in Benin at it height.  If you can believe it the family still lives in the house, though it now is occupied by descendants of both the slave traders and the women they enslaved and raped, bearing children with deeply conflicting roots.  If you have time, you can check out some interviews done with Martine de Souza, one of the descendants and a philanthropist in the community.

The building to the left is the de Souza house and the large tree is where they used to gather captured Africans to inspect them like objects, determining if they would stay and serve the Europeans in Benin or if they would be sent on a ship.

We also drove down the road that enslaved Africans were walked down before boarding boats to the US, South America and the Caribbean.  There is a monument marking the place where Europeans demanded the vodun leaders of the time put powers into a tree that would erase the memories of the Africans to keep them from rebelling or becoming violent on the voyage.  Historically, the vodun leaders did not believe that was possible, but they did the ceremony given the consequences were they not to.  Men walked around the tree nine times, women seven, to erase from their memories everything about their communities and culture.  

Further down the road is a monument to "the dark room."  This was a room where all were taken, bound at the hands and feet and gagged and meant to kneel on the floor of a room in total darkness, being fed nothing but cornmeal and water for three weeks or more.  This is where, our guide said, most got sick or died of starvation.  Those strong enough to survive this torture were then marched on to the beach where many ate handfuls of sand, knowing it would kill them slowly or jumped off of the small boats that took them to the larger boats, drowning to avoid enslavement.

The faces on this monument represent all of the tribes in Benin that passed through Ouidah during the slave trade period.

Finally, the road ends at the Pont de Non Retour (the Point of No Return) monument, marking the last place millions saw their homeland before being indebted into centuries of torture, family separation, erasure of their languages and culture, and racism that rages on to this day.  Next to the Pont de Non Retour, Benin has constructed the Pont de Retour, a monument symbolizing the country's willingness and desire to welcome back all descendants of those stolen.  And if you're reading this thinking this is ancient history, check out Nora Zeale Hurston's book Barracoon, detailing the life of Cudjo Lewis, stolen from the shores of Benin in 1860.  Yes, 1860, not even 200 years ago.

Unfortunately, the monument was being renovated and we were unable to walk up to it.

Ouidah is always a powerful place to be, between its deep ties to the slave trade, which has such an ongoing legacy of white supremacy in my home of the United States and its deeply spiritual vodun traditions, I find myself grateful and humbled to even stand in the space.  Bringing my children here was powerful as well, given the place they'll have as young Black men in America in the not so distant future.

When our tour was over and we bid our guide farewell, we drove down one of my favorite roads in the world.  It's a small dirt road that runs parallel to the ocean with palm trees arching their long trunks in the direction of the ocean.  Small straw homes line the road as well as indigenous plants and cacti.  

We stopped at a beautiful resort called Casa del Papa for lunch.  It was mid-afternoon, so the dining area was pretty much empty, allowing us a private viewing of the sea, sand, and palms.  Our drive home was peaceful, following the same seaside road all the way back to Cotonou.  

Isn't this how you ride in a car alongside the ocean??

Sunday morning we were packed up and headed back to Gabon for our final two weeks of visiting with family.  Check in and flight went on without a hitch and by 4pm we were on our way back to Georgia's house with Landry's sister, Aimee, which was nice since we hadn't yet seen her.

Birthday in Benin!

I had the gift of turning 39 in Cotonou this year, much as I had the gift of turning 25 here fourteen years ago.  I'm a cancer, a water baby, and so there was nothing I wanted more for my birthday this year that to spend it in and by water.

I found a hotel right on the beach, Hotel Azalai.  Most of the hotels with pools allow people to come in for the day for a low rate.  The day started out a bit rainy, but it's so warm that the rain almost doesn't really bother you.  Except it makes laying on a lounge chair a bit wet and uncomfortable...lol.  Once the rain died down, the sun made its appearance and it was a relaxing, enjoyable day.

The pool was perfect for the boys with a very large wading end, which meant they could play without me.  

Love that they manage to find friends everywhere, regardless of country, language, and culture

My friend and I ordered cocktails, she insisted on an impromptu photo session to mark the day, which I was thankful for after the fact, and we got some pizza for lunch.  Originally we'd planned to do part of the day at the pool and part of the day at the beach, but by the time we decided to leave the pool the kids were tired and we were ready to head back.

A piggy family passed by us on the beach

One of the many winning photos from the shoot

One of the best travel partners I've come across!

Don't know how I sensed they might be getting tired...lol

Since we're staying in the neighborhood where I used to live there are a few places that I'm familiar with that are still around and one of them is an ice cream parlor called Festival des Glaces.  I used to go there every so often with the girls I lived with back in 2007.  I thought my birthday was the perfect reason to indulge the boys in some ice cream treats.  Saye got chocolate and vanilla while Amare chose mint chocolate chip.  I ordered a crepe sundae with caramel and coffee ice creams....OMG. 

Selfie while waiting for ice cream!

Crepe sundae from heaven

The bottle we popped to close out the day after the kiddos were in bed.

 Overall my day was quiet, but exactly what I'd hoped for.  Added bonus, I got to ride on a zemi with both of my kids at the same time.  Yeah, I know, safety red flags everywhere.  #momoftheyear What matters to me is that we survived and they have another experience in their lives.

Since this is the birthday post, I'm going to skip over Friday and talk about Saturday night for a moment.  Saturday was the day that my cousin Koudous decided we would go out for my birthday.  Since it was the weekend we could take the kids to his sister's house in Porto Novo for a sleepover. 

About five seconds after we got to his cousins he was like, "Peace out mom, I got better things to do!"

Now, if you've not spoken to me much about going out in Africa, it's important to note that when the lights are coming on in Philly and they've made the last call for drinks that's when you SHOW UP at the club.

We went to a spot called Makoomba where there was bottle service, great music, and great company.  First of all, I can't really describe how great it felt to just be back out in a club after the last year and a half that we've had.  

COVID never really hit Benin very hard at all.  In the whole time the pandemic has happened, they've recorded 8200 cases and only 105 deaths.  Now, it may be that their testing was not as widespread as in the US, but across many African countries numbers have been really low.  And Benin also never shut down.  The President felt there were far too many people living day to day from earnings in the market and other areas of work who wouldn't survive a lockdown.  It was about the lesser of two risks and the numbers for COVID just couldn't justify a shut down.  Masks are required in certain places and the test requirements to enter and exit the country are very strict, but I felt far safer here than I do in the US.

Now, back to Makoomba.  We arrived around 1:45am and it was still dead (imagine that!), so we went outside to grab a bite to eat and then headed back in around 3.

My cousin Koudous and one of his closest friends, Saeed.  These two treated me like absolute royalty all week long.  So grateful for them both.

Oh, what, does that bottle say Dom Perignon???  Whaaaatttttt?!?!

The club closed at 6 and then we went back to my cousin's house to hang out for a bit and eat spicy spaghetti.  In the US, after the club, most people hit a diner or a pizza spot.  In Benin, you grab spicy spaghetti from a roadside cafeteria.  It's basically noodles, meat if you choose, and spicy peppers with a fried egg on top.  Simple, delicious and totally satisfying after a night out.  

I went to bed feeling utterly grateful for the opportunity to be here, for the love shown to me, and for my family in Benin, which has now grown as I've met more people to connect with on future visits.

When I say I'm grateful for my celebration and my week, literally all the credit goes to him.  #familyfirst

Return to Benin!

I'm so excited to be writing this post from my living room in Cotonou, Benin.  Many of you know, but some may not, that I lived in Cotonou for about four months in 2007.  It was an experience that changed my life.  The freedom and fear of living in a new place, so far from home, in a language I could barely speak when I arrived was thrilling.  I learned so much about myself here.  I also learned what it's like to be an outsider, a non-native speaker, and misunderstood frequently.  It was a humbling experience.

This was also the first place that I met Landry's mom.  She is from Benin and was here visiting family the summer I was living here.  It was completely intimidating to meet the mother of my boyfriend alone in her country and in her language, but I remember her being so impressed with my ability to take a taxi bus to her city and maneuver my way around.  It turned out to be a pretty foundational building block to our relationship.

I've wanted to come back here for so long and just did not have the means or the opportunity.  When we decided to go to Gabon this summer our cousin Koudous had just moved back to Benin from the US, "Uncle Juicy" as the kids call him (a three-year old Amare mispronunciation of Koudous that stuck....lol).  It seemed an opportune moment to come out here for a week, visit with him, and reconnect with a place that has stayed so deeply with me despite fourteen years of time and space.  

In my last blog I recounted the drama over our flight here.  As you can see, Amare took to his business class flying like a champ.  Probably a bit too comfortable if you ask me!

The flight to Benin is only about two hours from Gabon, so it was easy to keep the kids entertained and relax a bit.  When we landed we were ushered onto a bus that took us to a tent for COVID testing.  After that it was back on the bus to passport control, baggage, customs and finally, BENIN!  

Reunited!

Koudous secured us a great apartment in the neighborhood I used to live in, Akpakpa, which was all the more exciting for me to not only return to the country and city, but the very neighborhood.  My friend, Keisha, also decided to join us so after we got ourselves settled into the apartment we went back to pick her up at the airport.  

Our first full day in Benin was spent in Porto Novo, the capitol city.  We went to visit with Tonton Moucha, Tanty's brother.  This was the house I came to in 2007 when I met Tanty for the first time.  Koudous and Landry decided it would be fun to surprise him, so we didn't tell him we were coming.  What a surprise it was for him to see me show up with my kids!  

Meeting Tonton Moucha for the first time

I absolutely love the ceilings in this house.  It's one of the things I remember most vividly from my first visit with Tanty.

Fourteen years apart, same place.  

We visited with him for a few hours, his wife made us a delicious meal that may still be the best thing I've eaten since we arrived, and then we took lots of family photos.  It meant a lot to me for the kids to be able to see the home that their grandmother grew up in and to be held by her brother.  Its the closest I can get them to her and that's something I just can't put words to.

Tuesday we visited Ganvie, the "Venice of Africa."  Ganvie is one of several towns on Lake Nakoue right outside of Cotonou.  Almost all of the buildings are built on stilts and sit above the water.  There are a few manmade islands that house a school, maternity hospital, and cemetery.  Legend has it that the ancestors of those who live there now were fleeing the Fon warriors, who were capturing rival tribes and selling them into enslavement.  Fon people believe that a demon lived in the lake and wouldn't step foot into it, so those who lived on the water were saved.  Ganvie translates roughly to "those who found peace."  The kids really enjoyed the boat ride tour and we were served a delicious lunch at one of the restaurants in Ganvie. 

Saye and our guide, Laurent

Pate rouge (my favorite!) and grilled fish with onion and tomato sauce

When we came back from Ganvie the girls that I lived with back in 2007 came over for a visit....but they're not girls anymore!  They're grown women with children of their own.  While I didn't get to visit with all of them, it was so nice to see some of them in person after 14 years of speaking via text and sending photos back and forth.  You can see from the collage how much we've all grown and changed.  The first picture was the night I left Cotonou and the second is the picture we took together on Tuesday night. 

2007, my last night in Cotonou and 2021, girls all grown up with kids of their own!

Yesterday Koudous took Saye for a few hours so that I could take Amare and Keisha to Dantokpa Market.  Dantokpa is one of the largest open air markets in West Africa.  We walked around for an hour or two.  Keisha bought some fabric and spices for friends at home and we bought fresh pineapple.  The pineapple here is soooo good.  So much less acidic that what we get in the US.  The women in the market cut the pineapple up for you, put it in a bag with a toothpick and you can just walk around and eat it.  We also picked up some toys for the boys to play with on the beach.

Dantokpa Market....and very bright sun

To get to and from the market we took zemijdans.  Zem or zemi for short, are motorcycle taxis.  This is basically the only way I got anywhere when I lived here in 2007.  It's cheap and fast.  Granted, not the safest way to travel.  But I also trust that the drivers know what they're doing and operate accordingly.  Amare was thrilled with the opportunity to hop on a motorcycle and keeps asking me when we can do it again.  

We went out to dinner last night to a nice spot that had a big screen with a soccer game and plenty of space for the kids to move around and not be totally distracting.  However, I think we failed at that when Saye walked out into the middle aisle of the restaurant and pulled his pants down to his ankles.  Apparently they'd started to sag and fall down and he thought the best solution to that was to just take them off completely instead of pulling them back up.  Yup...this one's going to be a problem.

We came back to the house just before midnight and so Koudous and his friend Saeed stayed until midnight to sing me happy birthday and do a birthday shot with me.  I got big hugs from the kiddos too and then it was off to bed.  Today has been a great day so far and I'll be sharing more of it in my next post.

Birthday hugs from my babies